I made some yummies this morning

So this afternoon at work we have a pot-luck lunch/holiday celebration. My lazy ass was too busy knitting and getting busy yesterday afternoon to make anything. So, I got up this morning and managed to make a pretty simple appetizer using my favorite white-trash ingredient: Crescent rolls. And I was only 8 minutes late to work.

1 container of crescent rolls
Some sliced hard salami
Italian seasoning
Garlic-from-a-jar
Shredded parmesean cheese

First off, crank the oven to 350. Then slam that crescent roll tube against the counter good and hard to startle your cat. This serves a practical purpose: those bitches don't open even after you peel off every inch of label. Unroll them into 2 rectangles onto a cutting board so you don't get crap on your counter.

Using a wet finger, pinch the perforations back together. Sprinkle with italian seasoning and garlic-from-a-jar. Lay 6 slices of salami outon the dough. Sprinkle with cheese. Roll it up into a log and pinch shut. Be sure to really roll it tight.

Cut the log into 8 pieces. Bake at 350 for 13-15 minutes. Serve warm with some spaghetti sauce.

What's the point?

Hey. I'm Kate. I was voted "Most Likely to Become Martha Stewart" by my sorority in college because I hosted some fabulous pre-parties and always had drunk foods and a very clean bathroom available for the after-party. The truth is that I'm a lazy girl who likes to be able to drink at her parties, but who is obsessed with having things look, taste and smell good. So the key is to have things that are easy, can be made ahead and popped in the oven when the goodies on the table get low, and that can still be handled when I get a buzz on.

This is my guide to fabulous party foods and tricks of the trade. And probably some crafts.

I don't eat pie

However, I do eat Boston Creme Pie. My version is super easy and if you have a slice with a glass of La Crema Chardonnay, you will have a small orgasm, I shit you not.

1 box yellow cake mix
1 or 2 boxes vanilla pudding mix
Chocolate frosting (pre-made)

Make cake in 2 8 or 9 inch rounds according to package directions. Make pudding according to package directions, but skimp on the milk or water - you want it to be a bit more solid. Put in fridge

When cake cools trim one layer so it is flat. Put on plate and then frost just the top (not the sides) with the pudding. Put on next layer. Put a bunch of frosting in a pyrex measuring cup with a pouring thingy. Microwave it a bit until it is pourable. Pour that shit right on top of the assembled cake, letting a bit of it drip down the sides.

Serve cool.